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Verdict: This Week SUCKED!

caress
Antibiotics are wonderful, and I'm now in that phase where after having been bedbound for a few days I'm feeling so well I want to do something crazy like take off to South Padre Island. On the whole, I really did not need to be sick this week. There's never a good time, but there are better times than others. Considering I'm working to get a brand new group off the ground at work, I really can't afford to be absent, but I was. Grr.

The other bit of devastating news that hit this week is that the daycare we've been taking B to for the past two years is closing next week. Andy told me when I was on my worst day of being sick, and he was very upset but I was too ill to take it in and just wanted to sleep. Now that I'm feeling better there's an impending sense of dread. It is so hard to find a good daycare! Especially one that accommodates something as little as two days a week or who will let us drop both kids off in the event that my dad can't make it even if it's not an every day thing (B goes to daycare regularly for the socialization, G is too young for that yet).



They've also been understanding that B is borderline autistic and have really worked with us, allowing his therapists to come to the daycare and being receptive to the advice that they have given and implementing suggestions. My OT told me that they were definitely the best daycare she had ever worked with!

And, bonus, they were so affordable!

And since I've been sick all week we've lost precious time finding a new place before they close. We're not as bad off as the people who don't have family to help, though, so that's one thing. It just feels very overwhelming to find a new place right now.

Today I ended up taking both to the doctor because B obviously had an ear infection. For awhile it seemed we had cleared the autism diagnosis, but the pediatrician seems to be leaning more towards it. The hard thing for me is I see how much progress he is making, but the older he gets the more apparent it is to others that he's not doing things someone his age should do. I guess the good news is that when I was his age I also defied diagnosis (and people still debate whether or not its autism) and managed to grow up, support myself, get a master's degree, wound up in a stable relationship and have children so even if he gets an autism diagnosis there's no reason to believe he can't do all those things either. And back as an undergrad when I worked with children with autism, at the age of three he is doing more things than the 5-6 year olds I was working with could.

But I still see the worrying things.

I think the other hard thing is that my in-laws are going to notice soon. My MIL does not believe that autism exists and she especially thinks Filipinos are immune to it (do not ask me to explain it, it is not rational). We only see them a few times a year and I've noticed some confusion among my MIL and Andy's aunts when they interact with him and he doesn't respond like most toddlers do. SIL sees and gets it at least, and I think his cousins who have kids his age would be understanding, but I am at a loss for how to broach this with MIL. Andy tried once when we first were worried and it was flat denial at her end but, like I said, it's getting more apparent.

The interesting thing with having a second one is I'm already noticing things that she does that B never did. G mimics us! She'll mimic our facial expressions and vocal sounds. B NEVER mimicked us, which is the root of a lot of the problems that we're experiencing (I keep telling myself that the good news is when he's a teenager he won't do what everyone else is doing mindlessly...hopefully). I've kept on top of lists of early autism warning signs and that is something I don't see mentioned at all that I think needs to be added, especially since B didn't manifest any signs until he was 7 months.

And while B has always been very engaging, it's on his terms. He wants to do things his way, but if someone else tries to take the lead he disengages. Hence why playing the hand games like Isty Bitsy Spider are so hard to do with him.

Ah, parenting in the age of anxiety...



In other news, B was talking to himself in his room after we put him to bed, and after commenting on how cute it was to Andy I said, "Well, if he starts saying something like 'you're my best friend' it would be a little creepy."

Andy: We'll, I'm Catholic so I'd assume he was talking to a saint or Jesus.

Me:...Glurge.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
retsuko
Jul. 26th, 2014 02:31 am (UTC)
Aw, man, finding a new school is the worst! I'll be wishing you the best of luck in finding a good place.

Do the in-laws believe in any sort of mental illness? Can the discussion start there? Maybe? Argh, that sounds really hard. :(
alexeia_drae
Jul. 26th, 2014 02:49 am (UTC)
I'll be wishing you the best of luck in finding a good place.

Thanks!

Do the in-laws believe in any sort of mental illness?

My MIL doesn't. I think she believes it's manufactured by the pharmaceutical companies and does not believe in using medication to treat mental illness (what those people really need is a good firm talking to in her mind, and she's only too willing to give it!) and freaked out when she learned that a cousin was taking antidepressants. A lot of the times my philosophy with her is the less she knows the better, but this is getting to the point where it's going to be hard to not notice. Not good.
retsuko
Jul. 26th, 2014 08:34 pm (UTC)
OMG, that sounds so difficult. Is there anyone that she trusts who might be willing to be an intermediary? Sometimes, it's easier to begin to change an opinion if you deal with someone who's neutral...

I'll keep thinking good things for you on both fronts. *hugs*
alexeia_drae
Jul. 27th, 2014 12:47 am (UTC)
Hm, might have Andy reach out to the priests in her church. As she's the oldest daughter in her family and all of her brothers live out of state, she considers herself to be the family matriarch and won't listen to other's opinions, leaving them. Not a bad ideal really, I'll have to talk to him about it, thanks!!!!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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